"First things first," he hissed, pulling out his lighter. "What's your story - and why me? Why us?"

Laibach blinked Drusilla's eyes slowly, sluggishly, reminding Spike of a crocodile he'd once fed a Montacqeua demon to in Africa. "I am the Laibach, vampire," the rumbling voice said. "That you do not recognize the name of one of the Old Ones, one of the Elder Gods of the Universe, reveals you as ignorant. I hope that you are not also stupid."

The ancient demonic deity spread Drusilla's arms in presentation. "Your mate is inhabited by greatness - you should be honoured."

Spike was silent as he lit the tip of his new cigarette and slid the lighter back into his pocket. He took a long drag and blew smoke from his nostrils before responding. "An Elder, eh? Always wanted to meet one of you blokes. Y'know, have a chat over a pint or two, find out what makes the universe go tick-tock. Don't suppose it's as simple as that, is it?"

Drusilla shook her head, a disturbing smile spreading across her pale features.

"Didn't think so," Spike said as he took another toke from his cigarette.

"If things were simple, my kind would have been returned to our rightful home three score ago," the thing inside Drusilla said.

"What's the old adage? Good things come to those who wait."

"Your arrogance offends me," Laibach said with a rumbling gurgle. "If I did not need you to assist me in gathering the surviving members of the Order of Aurelius, I would destroy you where you stand."