It was great, it was really good.

I had a different make-up artist doing my face so, if anyone�s wondering, [that�s why] I looked completely different. There was nothing the same except the contact lenses. They decided for some reason to make the lipstick and the eye make up grey, and used a totally different base.

It was all completely different and so it was very strange for me to be the person that I love so desperately, deeply, but be looking different. If you were somehow disfigured and you looked in the mirror and you had a different face, that was what it was like for me, because Zhaan is part of me.

I don�t care what anyone says, I wasn�t just acting the part, I took her over. Most actors remove themselves completely from the character - the character has nothing to do with them really, they�re just calling on past experiences to feel them, but with Zhaan it was really something different.

It was almost like I was channelling her. I don�t think I could have survived with all that make-up and the toxins and chemical if I hadn�t had a massive background of energy work, energy healing, reiki, homeopathy and herbal medicine. I wouldn�t have lasted because my kidneys started bleeding after the first three months, and I channelled myself into that character to keep myself on my feet and to keep going.

I loved her so much that nothing was going to stop me. Even my human frailty was not going to stop me, which was idiotic in the end. The doctors were saying, "Are you completely insane, what are you doing, this is a fictitious character, stop ruining your health, you only have one body."

I didn�t go home and think I was Zhaan, it wasn�t like that. But I was so in love with that character, so I channelled everything I knew from spirituality, from meditation processes, filling myself full of energy to keep myself going and so it is kind of like channelling.

It was nice. Actually Ben had tears in his eyes when he was working with me, Ben�s very shy, and he�s a very lovely guy and very supportive and I hadn�t seen him for quite some time. It�s magical, when Ben and I work together. I think it comes across on screen and you feel it. There�s an electricity, but it�s a warm one, not a testosterone kind of human thing. It�s almost like two soul mates working with each other, and everyone on sets feels a bit blissed out.

I didn�t get to see everybody, but I saw Ben and I saw Gigi, and Rowan Woods, one of my favourite directors of all time, was playing me! They didn�t tell me he was going to be the other Zhaan, they wanted to surprise me. I particularly love working with Rowan Woods and there he was dressed as me. He had my two make-up artists, the bugger - that�s why his make-up was perfect. I said, "You wretch, you�ve stolen my two make-up artists".