I'm Malcolm, and I'm so smart I'm in a special class. The Krelboyne class sucks. It's full of weirdoes and geeks and me. They make us do square dancing displays. I think it's just so the other kids can throw stuff at us.

My family don't really understand that I'm clever. Mum thinks it's cute, and Reese thinks it's a good excuse to hit me. They never bother to remember phone numbers now, because they know I can do it for them.

I miss Francis now he's off at Military school. He's always on the end of the phone when I need advice, but only if I get the PIN code first. Dad isn't too happy about our phone bills now.