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7 February 2011
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Vampire Stories Half-Sick of Shadows
by Graham Masterton
Page 1 | Page 2 | Page 3 | Page 4   
The mirror being pulled out - artwork by Frazer Irving

Mark drove the Range Rover across the meadow until he reached the island of Shalott. He switched on all the floodlights, front and rear, and then he and Nigel fastened towing-chains to the metal frame, wrapping them in torn T-shirts to protect the mouldings as much as they could. Mark slowly revved the Range Rover forward, its tires spinning in the fibrous brown mud. Nigel screamed, "Steady! Steady!" like a panicky hockey-mistress.

It was dark by the time they had managed to pull the mirror out. They hunkered down beside it and shone their flashlights on it. The decorative vine-tendrils had been badly bent by the towing-chains, but there was no other obvious damage. The surface of the mirror was black and mottled, like a serious bruise, but otherwise it seemed to have survived its seven hundred years with very little corrosion. It was 22cm wide and 57cm high, and it was over 3cm thick. It was so heavy that they could barely lift it.

"What do we do now?" asked Katie.

"We clean it up. Then we talk to one or two dealers, and see how much we can get for it."

"But what about Shalott?" asked Nigel. "This island - it's all going to be lost."

"That's the story of Britain, Nigel. Nothing you can do can change it."

They heaved the mirror into the back of the Range Rover and drove back into Wincanton. Mark had rented a small end-of-terrace house on the outskirts, because it was much cheaper than staying in a hotel for seven weeks. The house was plain, flat-fronted, and painted a dirty pink. In the back garden stood a single naked cherry-tree.

Between them, grunting, they maneuvered the mirror into the living-room and propped it against the wall.

"I feel like a criminal," said Nigel.

Mark lit the gas fire and briskly chafed his hands. "You shouldn't. You should feel like an Englishman, protecting his heritage."

That evening, Mark ordered a takeaway curry from the Wincanton Tandoori in the High Street, and they ate chicken Madras and mushroom bhaji while they took it in turns to clean away seven centuries of tarnish.

Neil played The Best of Matt Monroe on his CD player. "I'm sorry... I didn't bring any of my madrigals."

"Don't apologize. This is almost medieval."

First of all, they washed down the mirror with warm soapy water. Then Katie stood on a kitchen chair and cleaned all of the decorative detail at the top of the frame with a toothbrush and cotton-buds. As she worried the mud out of the human head in the center of the mirror, it gradually emerged as a woman, with high cheekbones and slanted eyes and her hair looped up in elaborate braids. Underneath her chin there was a scroll with the single word "Lamia".

"Lamia!" said Nigel. "That's the Greek name for Lilith, who was Adam's first companion, before Eve. She demanded the same rights as Adam and so God banished her Eden. She married a demon and became the queen of demons.

He touched the woman's faintly-smiling lips. "Lamia was supposed to be the most incredibly irresistible woman you could imagine. Just one night with Lamia and pfff! - you would never look at a human woman again."

"What was the catch?"

"She sucked all of the blood out of you, that's all."

"You're talking about my ex again."

Katie said, "John Keats wrote a poem called Lamia, didn't he?"

"That's right," said Nigel. "A chap called Lycius met Lamia and fell madly in love with her. The trouble is, he didn't realize she was cursed by God. 'Some penanced lady-elf... some demon's mistress, or the demon's self.'"

"Cursed," said Katie. "Like the Lady of Shalott. Perhaps they were one and the same person."

There was no question that the woman's face on the mirror was beautiful; but it had a slyness about it, too.

"Lamia was a bit of a mystery, really," said Nigel. "She was a blood-sucking enchantress, but she was capable of deep and genuine love. Lycius said she gave him 'a hundred thirsts.'"

"Just like this chicken Madras," said Mark. "Is there any more beer in the fridge?"

Katie carried on cleaning the mirror long after Mark and Nigel had grown tired of it. They sat in two reproduction armchairs drinking lager and eating cheese-and-onion crisps, watching while Katie gradually exposed a circle of shining silver, large enough to see her own face.

"There," she said. "It's amazing, isn't it, to think that the last person to look into this mirror could have been the Lady of Shalott?"

They didn't go to bed until well past one am. Mark had the main bedroom because he was the boss, while Katie had the child's bedroom at the back, with teddy-bear wallpaper, and Nigel had to doss down on the sofa in the living-room.

Mark slept badly that night. He dreamed that he was walking at the rear of a long funeral procession, with a horse-drawn hearse. A woman's voice was calling him from very far away, and he stopped, while the funeral procession carried on. "Mark!" she kept calling him. "Mark!"

"Mark!" she screamed. It was Katie, calling him from downstairs, and her voice was filled with panic.

He rolled out of bed, still stunned from sleeping. and stumbled down the narrow staircase. In the living-room the curtains were drawn back, although the grey November day was still dark, and it was raining. Katie was standing in the middle of the room in her pink cotton nightshirt, her hair standing up like a fright wig.

"Katie! What the hell's going on?"

"It's Nigel! I called him but he didn't answer! Mark, he's all wet! Something's happened to him!"

Mark switched on the overhead light. At first he couldn't understand what he was looking at. But then Katie made an extraordinary mewling noise, and he realized that he was looking at Nigel.

Nigel was lying on his back on the couch, wearing nothing but green woollen socks and a faded blue underpants. He was staring up at the ceiling, wide-eyed, his mouth stretched wide open, as if he were shouting at somebody. There was no doubt that he was dead. His throat had been torn open, in a stringy red mess of tendons and cartilage, and the cushion beneath his head was soaked black with blood.

Author's Notes

It was Alice Through The Looking-Glass that started my fascination with mirrors - particularly Lewis Carroll's notion that if you could somehow see beyond the reflection -- through the door and along the corridor - you would find yourself in a world where the normal rules of existence were back-to-front.




When I was six years old I used to press my cheek against my grandparents' mirror as close as I could, trying in vain to see through their drawing-room windows, and into the gardens beyond, where I was sure that I would see different people walking about, and different weather. But all I ever managed to do was to leave a hot cheek-shaped oval on the glass.


Close up, mirrors are very cold and very uncompromising. They will let you see nothing that they don't want you to see.


But I still yearned to see what they were keeping hidden from me, and so I explored their fictional possibilities on several occasions - notably with my novel Mirror, in which a looking-glass is the only witness to the brutal murder of a 1930s child star. His soul lives on, trapped inside the mirror, until a modern-day fan movie fan buys the mirror and releases him from his glassy captivity. And then finds out - to his cost - why the boy was killed.


During my research, I came across dozens of stories about mirrors and their magical properties, including one of the most famous, The Lady of Shalott, by Alfred Lord Tennyson. It is difficult these days to appreciate how ragingly popular this poem was in 1860s England. It had a tower, with a beautiful maiden in it. It had the dreaming spires of Camelot. It had Sir Lancelot, with his burnished armor and his blazing plume. And it had a mirror, through which the Lady of Shalott was cursed to view the pageantry that went by her window - the mirror that was famously "crack'd from side to side."


Most of my horror novels have been based in some way on myths and legends. This is because myths and legends almost always dramatize the very core of a basic human terror - such as the glaistigs, the Scottish witches who would drink babies' blood; or Will o' the Wisp, who would lead travelers astray in dark and treacherous marshes; or the banshees, who would scream and wail outside Irish houses when somebody was due to die.


Of course, one of the greatest legends of horror is the vampire, but I have been very reluctant to write about vampires. They have, quite literally, been done to death. (Having said that, I had some blood-sucking fun with Road Kill, the story of a lonely vampire who fails to open the letters from his local council, warning him that his house has been compulsorily purchased, and whose coffin is tarred over by a new bypass.)

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